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Writer's pictureKatelyn

How to Know You're Dealing with a Narcissist

We all believe we know what narcissism looks like. After all, aren’t a majority of politicians and Hollywood A-listers narcissists, projecting their massive egos onto the world?


While that may be true, narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. They walk among us, some of them obvious, and some of them covert.


So how can you tell if you’re dealing with an actual narcissist or just someone who is a bit full of themselves? Here are a handful of traits the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) lists as characteristics that someone is a narcissist:


A Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance

Narcissists see themselves as incredibly essential to the success and happiness of other people. In their eyes, they believe they are capable of exceptionally high levels of achievement, whether they are or aren’t in reality. They often exaggerate their accomplishments and expect to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.


They are Special or Unique

Narcissists believe they are so special and unique that few people can really understand them. Many will only want to spend time around high-status people or institutions. They have an unrealistic sense of their own superiority, often considering themselves above the rules that apply to everyone else.


A Need for Admiration

We all can admit it feels good to be appreciated and admired. But narcissists have an absolute need for admiration and a lot of it. They require constant, excessive admiration and validation from others to maintain their sense of self-worth, often seeking out environments where they can be the center of attention.


A Sense of Entitlement

Narcissists truly believe they are the exception to the rule. If there is a line of people waiting to be seated, a narcissist will cut that line because why should they of all people be forced to wait? If you’ve spent any amount of time around an actual narcissist, their entitlement can be shocking as it seems to know no bounds. They expect favorable treatment and automatic compliance with their expectations.


A Lack of Empathy

Narcissists simply cannot imagine how others feel. They are wired differently from non-narcissistic people. When you can’t empathize or feel what someone else is, it makes it incredibly easy to abuse those around you. Their inability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others leads to exploitative, manipulative, and often harmful behavior in relationships.


Interpersonal Exploitativeness

Narcissists often exploit others to achieve their own ends. They can be charming and persuasive, but this is often a means to manipulate others for personal gain. They lack genuine concern for the well-being of others and see relationships primarily as opportunities to serve their own needs.


Envy and Arrogance

Narcissists are often envious of others or believe that others are envious of them. They may display arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes, dismissing others as inferior or unworthy.

These are just some of the main traits of a narcissist. Needless to say, spending any amount of time in their presence can be a very toxic and taxing experience. Identifying these traits can help you understand and navigate interactions with narcissistic individuals more effectively.


How to Handle a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but there are strategies to help you manage these interactions:


  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear and firm boundaries to protect your emotional and mental well-being. Be consistent and assertive in maintaining these boundaries.


  • Limit Contact: If possible, minimize the amount of time you spend with the narcissist. This reduces the chances of being manipulated or emotionally drained.

  • Don't Take It Personally: Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their personality disorder and not a reflection of your worth or actions. Try not to internalize their criticisms or manipulative tactics.


  • Stay Calm and Composed: Narcissists thrive on drama and emotional reactions. Stay calm and composed to avoid feeding their need for control and attention.


  • Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your experiences. Having a support system can provide validation and help you maintain perspective.


  • Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being by engaging in activities that nurture your mental, emotional, and physical health. This can help you stay resilient in the face of narcissistic behavior.


  • Know When to Walk Away: Sometimes, the best option is to distance yourself from the narcissist, especially if the relationship becomes too toxic or harmful.


By understanding these strategies, you can better navigate interactions with narcissists and protect your own mental and emotional health.


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